For the first 8 months or so of my CrossFit Journey I was a devoted fish-eating-vegetarian, had been for almost 6 years, and weighed in around 55 kilos. I struggled to lift 65 pounds over my head and was content hitting the same front squat weight every class for a very long time.
All of my life I looked at food as a way to be “skinny”. I was always the smallest of my siblings, but always on some sort of diet. A smaller pant size or being thin seemed synonymous with being accepted, celebrated and worthy. All of my life, I’ve hated my legs because they weren’t super long and lean. CrossFit has significantly changed the way I view body image, but recently I had to get on the scale at work. We earn “points” the healthier we are, and can earn cash rewards or a percentage off our health insurance. I had not been on a scale in nearly two years, so I was hesitant. All of my button-down shirts have been donated because they no longer fit in the arms or shoulders. Guess I have no business shopping in the Ann Taylor petite section anymore. When I read the results on the scale, I was shocked…
15 pounds heavier than I expected.
Screw the scale! I’m not placing any value in it. Not when I have a notebook filled with workouts where I can compare results. Rather than focusing on the number on the scale, I decided to focus on other, more important numbers. And I kindly urge you to do the same.
I hope that if you’re having a tough day you can look back and think about your our own journey, take value in it and feel proud. Look at how far you’ve come. Did you ever think you could climb a rope and overcome your fear of heights? Did you ever think you’d get kipping pull-ups? Did you ever think you’d compete at a local competition or during the Open among the elite? Do you realize that you make the choice to walk through those doors in the first place?
I can’t pinpoint when exactly my attitude shifted from just going through the motions of learning the movements, to actually wanting to put more weight on the bar and RX workouts (I do remember my first RX 14# wall ball though, with Mandy in a partner WOD and as she says, “NOW THERE’S NO GOING BACK!”). I would rather be strong than skinny. I would rather have tree trunk legs and a big butt than be where I was. I would rather be capable than not.
I would rather spend a weekend with friends, feasting on fried sea food, giant ice-creams and cold cocktails than count my points or calories (those frozen meals aren’t even real food!). Because I know once the weekend is over I can do back to consistent, clean eating, good hydration, and plenty of sleep to feel strong, energized and ready to take on the day, and the workout of the day.
Screw the scale, because I like to squat too much, and I’m going heavy.
September 19, 2013
Strength: 20RM High Bar Back Squat – make no more than 2 attempts
First Minute) 25 Double-unders
Second Minute) 4-8 Reps Upper Body Gymnastics Movement
(Handstand Push-ups, Ring Dips, Push-ups, Pull-ups, Toes-to-Bar, Muscle-ups, etc.)